Children's Books that never made the Cut


With the approach of Christmas, it's time once again to release the list of failed ideas for Children's Books!
(this was posted last year to Concrete Frog, which has since gone idle)


Tigger & Pooh and Ritalin Too!

The Polar Expectorant

Dora the Informer (and her sidekick, Concrete Boots)

Harry Potter and the Marketing Department’s Dream of Filthy Lucre

What the Berenstein Bears Did in the Woods

Mommies Make the Best Soup (by Hannibal Lecter)

Beatrix Potter’s Hasenpfeffer Recipes

My FIRST BOOK of Embalming

Kipling’s “The Slash-and-Burn Jungle Books”

The Little Suicide-Bomber-Drummer Boy (actually quite popular in the Palestinian Territories)

The Muppets Take Skokie Illinois

Robert Louis Stephenson’s “The REAL Treasure Island”



(and from a certain Doctor we all know)


That Cat Spat in my Hat!

There’s a Wocket in my Pocket (or am I just happy to see you?)

Horton Hears a World Health Organization

Green Eggs and Genetically Altered Corn

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Mercury Poisoned Fish




As I predicted last year, the Cease-and-Desist orders should be rolling in any time now.